That show will fail because I like ketchup. (What??)

I don't know about this, guys. My idea of fun doesn't include Simon Cowell yelling at people who are trying to be inventors. Inventors scare me more than people who can't sing. I'm going to put my money on this show not being a hit. Of course, odds are I'll be wrong.

Why do I think this show will be a bad idea? Because these invention shows don't actually pick good inventions.

Case in point: A few years ago, there was a similar show on some lame (read: favorite) network, such as A&E or the Discovery Channel, that tried the same thing. Inventors tried to sell their stuff in hopes of getting a deal with some company such as Wal-Mart, or at least scoring a hot minute on late-night TV during an infomercial.

One invention was a hit, in my book. You know how when you're driving in the car and eating french fries, and you squeeze the ketchup down the side of the fry box? It gets all warm and weird. So this guy invented this thing that pulls off from the side of the fry box; a sort of pocket to put ketchup in. AND HE DIDN'T EVEN WIN.

I mean, come on. The story says someone has built a RACETRACK FOR COCKROACHES. Why, someone tell me, does the world need this? Why?

(Photo: Ode to ketchup. This is the exact pump Dave and I have. I'm not even joking.)