An embarrassing story - with a happy ending.

I have an embarrassing confession.

Instead of going out last night, I stayed home to watch "Law & Order." (And to sleep, but that's secondary.)

Right now, I'm watching "Law & Order." Season four. Three DVDs.

And you know what? I have it all down. It's all the same. I mean, I don't know the stories and I don't know whodunit. But man. They have one sound clip of a telephone ringing. Every time they open a door into the police station, it rings. Every time the DA's office door opens, it rings. When they stand in the police station, it keeps ringing. When they're outside on the street, there's a canned car horn noise. There's the sound of cars passing behind them, even when there's no cars driving by.

When they question witnesses, as soon as they're done, the witnesses have somewhere to go. "I have to go to the dentist." "I have to get dinner ready." "I have to go to work." If I were being questioned in a homicide case, I'd stand there like an idiot, until they told me go.

And Jill Hennessey, aka Jordan on "Crossing Jordan," looks really, really bad with a short bob cut.

That's it. I'm turning it off. No more. I'm through. No more!