America's sweethearts

Good news: America's favorite couple is engaged. I wonder what the deal-sealer was; I'm guessing it was the time, love and tenderness. They dated in the '90s and just recently got back together, according to my latest conversation with Nicolette Sheridan. We usually call each other a few times a week.

You see, folks, when a man (desperately) loves a woman, (fill in favorite Michael Bolton lyric here).

I looked everywhere, but I couldn't find an address for you to send congratulations cards to. I'm sorry. I guess you'll just have to go through their press people just like everyone else.