I'd say "hit me baby, one more time," but after a Google search of that phrase, it's obvious it's been used once or twice before.

OK. I'm no one to judge.

Wait. That's why I have a blog. Let the judging begin.

Dear God, what is she thinking -- another baby?! Doesn't she know Kevin Federline -- oh, wait, I mean K-Fed -- isn't someone the rest of the world wants to procreate? Oh, God, I just used the word "procreate." I just threw up in my mouth.

OK. So he's not the one jumping on couches, eating placentas and belittling Matt Lauer on national TV, and she's not the one WITH the crazy guy who jumps on couches, eats placentas and belittles Matt Lauer on national TV ... but after listening to anything by K-Fed, I don't know which is worse. He's the one who thinks he's rap's rookie of the year.

Sickos and "art lovers" will be anxiously awaiting another statue of her naked body giving birth on a rug (I wish I made that up). I guess I'll have another blog topic in about six to eight months. Thanks, guys.

The bad news is, if this report is to be believed (and celebrity news is NEVER wrong), we've got ourselves another no-carseat-wearing, dropping-from-the-high-chair-and-brought-to-the-hospital-days-later, sheriff's investigation-causing situation on our hands. And I was so tired of it before. Maybe this time, as I'm sure she's hoping, too, this baby will save the marriage so they can all wear matching velour track suits again and live happily ever after as Britney and K-Fed in a double-wide somewhere in West Virginia.

Britney, I hope it works out for you. Wait, I typed that wrong. Britney, it's not going to work out for you.

Can't we just go back to hating her for her music? No! We can't! Because she had to go and ruin it by getting married! Exclamation points abound!

(Scary photo: static.flickr.com)