"Do you have any coupons? Do you have a Kroger Plus card? Please select your method of payment." WHAT IS ALL THIS? I JUST WANTED SOME GRAPES.

This could make you hate your job.

OK, hate's a strong word. But you're going to be jealous that you can't sit at home and get paid to repeat phrases for some commercial or recording.

These are the people who get exhausted after reading off things such as "16th floor" -- the calm, female voice that speaks when you reach the 16th floor via the elevator. They're the ones who get paid to say "Please hold." The ones who get paid to say that disclaimer at the end of Ohio lottery commercials ("AllLotteryWinnersAreSubjectToCommissionRulesAndRegulations. ThisIsAMessageFromTheOhioLotteryDepartment. PleasePlayResponsibly")

And to think. I sit and work with words and designs and people all day. I obviously went into the wrong field. I should've known by the way the broadcast journalists at UT stole our stories word for word that I wasn't going to have the easy part of this whole journalism job.

But now, I have a new goal: I'm going to be the next elevator speaker lady.

Kidding.

See, you can't be too jealous of them. They're hated by everyone at some point or another.

Everyone has their least favorite voice: mine's the one at the grocery store.

The stupid, stupid, stupid automatic check-out stations in stores. I don't know if too many places have them in Wisconsin, because I don't go looking for them. But you couldn't swing a cart-full of groceries without knocking into one of those dang kiosks in your local Kroger or Meijers.

Will I stoop to trying to communicate with that machine? NO. Easier? No, I don't think so. "Please scan your first item and place it in the bag. Please place the item in the bag. Place the item in the bag. Place the item -- thank you. Please scan your second item." UGH. STOP TALKING TO ME. YOU ARE A MACHINE.

(Photo: See that woman? She looks OK, but under her breath she's telling the stupid friendly voice to SHUT UP ALREADY AND TAKE THE FREAKIN' COUPON.)