BREAKING NEWS

Tom and Katie have had what that dang media is calling a Tomkitten.

I threw up in my mouth when I typed Tomkitten, so I'll be calling it "the baby," or Suri, the kid's name.

I'm at work, so I can't go into the placenta eating or the quiet birth. But I thought everyone should know.

(Photo: What you get when you type in kitten in Google. I also typed in "tomkitten," but apparently it's some Beatrix Potter-esque character, and thus not funny at all.)