Cooking, celebrities and what's wrong with NBC today, all in one neat little post.

You guys thought I worked late this week because I had a lot to do. Silly readers.

Give yourself a pat on the back if you remembered the only thing worse than being stuck with only one station is when that one station has to go and put crap on the air all week long.

You do realize that this whole "Celebrity Cooking Showdown" thing isn't really a weeklong event like NBC says. I can feel it already.

Remember back when "Deal or No Deal" started? Well, I do. The network said that was a weeklong event, too. Weeklong my ... goodness, it's been on like, what? 56 weeks or something, since January? It's not mathematically possible, but I'm certain that's right.

Someone is going to say "Hey, this show, with its 'celebrities,' it's not really a 'hit,' but if we can get maybe someone to set their hair on fire, or maybe someone who shows a little more cleavage than that one chick, I think we can stretch it out at least as long as Erin and Dave don't have cable."

See, it's not that I hate reality TV. "Hate" is a strong word. I prefer "can't tolerate" or "would rather poke myself in the eye with a stick than watch," but it's pretty long-winded. So, "pretty much hate" it is.

The problem is, it combines all the things I don't like into one show: silicone, cooking, "celebrities" and a crowd that obviously doesn't know how stupid it looks on TV. NBC should make another Law & Order series, or do a "Crossing Jordan" marathon or something. Then, maybe I wouldn't have to stay away from home. Because you know if you're home, you're going to watch. Watch it ironically, of course.

But NBC will continue on with this horrible show because it's cheap and easy ("celebrities" are a lot easier to come by than celebrities), and they hate me. Sigh. If it's any consolation to me, tonight's episode is an online-only viewing. Dang, my computer just couldn't handle it.

Oh, and in case cooking wasn't bad enough, check out what the nimrods have scheduled for Friday night. Please, don't get me started.