Sigh. Oh, Britney.

Baby, learn to read, then take my advice: Get up late at night and start practicing walking in your crib. Pace back and forth, develop those motor skills while your mom is sleeping and your dad is nowhere to be found. Sean Preston, if I were you, I'd get up and walk out of that house.

Britney has waited six days to report a head injury, she's driven with the baby in her lap, she's put the baby in the carseat facing backwards, and now she's almost dropped him in front of the whole world.

Sean Preston, call Grandma.