GASP -- Is Oshkosh ... cool?

You know when you're from a small town (or maybe even a medium-sized town, or perhaps, a large town, borderline city, etc. -- you get the point), and you're 17, and you're constantly slamming doors and screaming (or at least thinking) "I HATE THIS RURAL ROUTE/SMALL TOWN/MEDIUM-SIZED CITY/LARGE METROPOLIS! I CAN'T WAIT 'TIL I'M 18 AND I CAN LEAVE."

Well, suckers. I did leave.

But, I came to Oshkosh, which raises a few eyebrows now and then.

"Man, I can't wait to get outta Wisconsin." "Man, Oshkosh is so lame." And other such phrases that begin with "man."

But, my friends, having lived this exotic life (in Toledo, Ohio), I can tell you ... I was saying it in Columbus Grove, Ohio, population 2,000, back when I was a wee one. Six years ago. Then I moved to Toledo, this mecca of awesome local bands (Rediscover, We Are the Fury, etc.), awesome small-show venues, awesome mom-and-pop places to get breakfast at 4 a.m., awesome dirty, industrial, blue-collar, university, dead-but-coming-back-to-life-ever-so-slowly Midwestern city.

But you know what? I had friends there. No, that wasn't supposed to be the unbelievable part. These friends were saying the same thing as I was in Columbus Grove, Ohio, population 2,000, where there are (by my last count) two tractors for every five people.

So what gives? Well, obviously, we all just think where ever we are right now is horrible, and that we have no power to change that, and man, if we were only in ... New York, or L.A., or Florida, or Chicago, or Cincinnati, that it'd all be better. But I bet you 47 cents people in Chicago wish they were in London or something.

I'm feeling a bit long-winded, so I'll wind this up before it gets out of hand.

A friend at work today suggested I do a story later (after all the crazy events of the summer) about how Oshkosh is suddenly cool again.

But is it? I don't mind Oshkosh. I really don't. To me, it's that Midwestern town where I met some cool people and had my first full-time job and lived in an apartment with quarterly fire drills. I didn't go to high school here. I didn't go to University of Wisconsin-Oshkosh. I'm just enjoying making a new life. (Hallmark is now asking me to buy the rights to the sentiment expressed in that last sentence to put on a greeting card.)

But, to me, Oshkosh is pretty darn close to as cool as a small city can get. I have a few reservations about things: I don't understand this liquor ordinance (Ohio people, did you know you cannot buy alcohol in Oshkosh after 9 p.m. except in a bar? Isn't that the weirdest thing you've ever heard?) and I loathe certain aspects of the town. But it's your standard small-city thing, and it'd be boring to anyone.

But, said friend at work pointed this out:
We've got:
1. Gallery Walks (old news, we agreed, but cool nonetheless -- there are really a lot of artsy people here, per capita).
2. That whole Leach Amphitheater thing (waterfest, other concerts, that Viva La Rock thing, etc.)
3. Weekend. I mean, come on, like I wasn't going to throw that one in there.
4. The Grand Opera House getting Jeff Daniels (that guy from "Dumb and Dumber," a guilty pleasure of mine).
5. The lake (I always wanted to live by water ...).
6. Shops coming in downtown ...
7. (Add your own thoughts here)

We're also close to Madison and Milwaukee and even Chicago ... But I don't know if it counts that a city's redeeming qualities is its proximity to other cooler places.

We thought of more, but I don't want to give it away before I turn it into a Weekend cover story for later.

The reason for this long and rambling blog is to ask ... what do you think? Cool? Lame? Oshkosh? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

Are we cool? Or are we sitting in the same high school cafeteria, carving our names in the lunch table while casting hateful glances at Milwaukee and Madison's cool kids' tables?

(Photo: I don't know who this guy is, but when you Google "Oshkosh," this is what comes up on the first page of results. HE sure looks happy to be here. That's not the population, anymore, either ...)