Maine splits in two, everyone else copies, and suddenly we have 178 states.
Civics pop quiz:
How many states are there? If you answered 50, you are right. If you answered "51," you live in Maine.
Those nuts, I mean, concerned citizens, want to split into two states. Maine, the conservative, rural half (whose symbol is a moose); and North Massachusetts, the liberal city-dwellers of the south (the lobsters). (I don't really think you need me to make fun of the moose versus the lobster.)
OK, Maine, just because you want to "keep your heritage" and "maintain your conservative front," you really shouldn't go messing around with trying to quit your statehood.
And besides, "North Massachusetts" won't fit on a license plate. And where would we put that odd star on the flag? And there are a lot of tiny states over there that no one can remember which is which. One more is just going to ruin the lives of every fourth grader.
Seriously, Maine. I don't think this is going to fly.
However, if it does fly, I think we should take a look copying off them. Ohio, you should make southeastern Ohio break off to become ... East Ohio. Michigan, I don't know why you maintain your "one state" thing if you're really two. If I were the UP, I'd so start calling myself North Wisconsin.
And, besides, I'd be angry if Maine Junior called itself "North Massachusetts." How do you think that makes Massachusetts feel?
"Get your own name, GOSH."
1 comment:
Sure, go ahead and pick on poor Maine -- read both ways, including "poor Maine" = your "Maine."
As a Mainer who grew up in "Northern Massachusetts," and now resides somewhere in the demilitarized zone between N.M. and "Maine," I add these two points:
1. It's already split if viewed in terms of the electoral college. Fun Fact for Today: Northern Maine gave Ross Perot his only electoral vote in 1992.
2. Northern Maine's conservativ-ity is still moderate (if, not, then libertarian) relative to Red America. It might create a new "purple state" phenomenon. Tune in next election ...
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