If you Google "make it stop," this is what comes up.

Any time you can get two crazies into one show, you know it's either a story about Tom Cruise, or a story about Tom Cruise.

For all you Cruise fans, I apologize for lumping him in with Carty Finkbeiner. Carty's friends, I'm sorry I had to lump him in with Tom. But the two came together, kind of, on NBC tonight.

What's up now with Tom and Katie? Nothing new, I guess. But the show had some interesting points to it: like Carty Finkbeiner and Jamie Farr (another Toledoan, like Katie) walking along the river, talking about Katie giving birth.

And the part about Carty calling Katie's grandpa to congratulate him.

And the part about Katie insiders saying she's hypnotized and only talking to Tom, Scientologists, and her mom and dad (who must be cursing every dollar they spent to put her through Notre Dame Academy).

I don't think many Toledoans' labors are summed up by Carty and Jamie and a TV news crew.

Seriously. What the random ..? Jamie, do you even know Katie. Were you a big "Dawson's Creek" fan, too?

Sigh.

We all know why Tom's crazy. We're all grappling with sweet Katie turning into what-is-she-thinking Katie, but to add Carty in there, too? This is the guy who was mayor of Toledo once, was so controversial he landed himself in national news (and on a Trivial Pursuit card), and then was the knight in slightly tarnished armor because Mayor Jack Ford was so horrible.

(By the way, the Trivial Pursuit question reads something like this: "This metro mayor caused controversy when he suggested the best way to reduce complaints about air traffic noise pollution was to move all the deaf people in the city to live near the airport.)

Ha. Oh, Carty. I don't think you're qualified to talk about crazy.

But oh well.

But, in unrelated news, seeing Toledo made me miss it. And I felt slightly nerdy when I heard myself say "Hey! I've been there! Look!"