Stupid, stupid, stupid

I think cell phone companies are a notch above homicidal maniacs on the ethics scale, and each month when we pay our outlandish cell phone bills I shake my angry fist at the sky and curse Verizon.

Yeah, I said it. I have Verizon.

It's not just them, though. I had AT&T for a little bit. I had a really sweet cell phone -- it was white, it had a big display screen, cool ringtones, a GPS thingy. Too bad I could only make phone calls while standing in the middle of a parking lot at the University of Toledo on a clear day. And I still have an $8 credit on my account that they send balance statements for almost monthly -- and they won't just pay me back. Some nimrod is up in his AT&T office, trying to paint over his Cingular sign again, and pushing the button that prints my statement, ignoring the "payout" button that would give me my stupid $8 back.

The worst part about cell phone companies is the stupid two-year plans, the stupid expensive phones, the stupid inflexibility. Two years is a long time. I've had Them for like, six years now; that's three ill-advised two-year contracts. And the stupid imbecile a couple cities away from here who told Dave and I when he renewed his two-year contract that it was cheaper to keep our plans separate because we used a lot of minutes, sadly overlooked the fact that we are losers who really only call EACH OTHER.

And, duh, you don't need to have the IQ of a gorilla to know Verizon has "In" calling.

"Oops! Overlooked that fact. Well, it's OK. In a year and a half, you two can just combine them."

Anyhow.

So, here's what's up now. My contract ends next week, and I'm not renewing. Yeah. I'm not. So take that. TAKE THAT!

Of course I'll just get added to a family plan. And I'll get a sweet pink phone if everything goes OK. But still. It gives me a special warm feeling knowing I will singlehandedly take $30 away from Them each month. Muuuoooohh-ha-ha.

(Phone image: Amazon.com)