Dooo-dooo-dooo doodo doo doo, Dooo-dooo-dooo doodo doo dee ... (That's the 'Unsolved Mysteries' music)

I'm not going to come right out and say I'm brave. I'm not. I admit it.

That dot on the wall? It's gotta be a bug, and that's why I'm sitting in the other room. If there's a dog barking, he's obviously got rabies and is coming after me. It's dark, I'm listening for a serial killer. It's all quiet at home, I'm alone, and I hear something, my first instinct is to look at the floor because I'm certain a mouse will scamper by. Brave? No. Not really.

But I did take pride in being able to stand "Unsolved Mysteries" as a kid. That music, Robert Stack ... I mean, it's creepy. And, much like making yourself stand on hot cement barefoot, it's uncomfortable, but putting on shoes would just make Mom too happy.

Later in life, I was happy that I was able to make it through hours upon hours of "Cold Case Files." Bill Kurtis isn't really that creepy. Is he?

Fast-forward to two nights ago. Dave's working late. Erin's home, curled under a blanket, watching the DVD of "Cold Case Files" she got from the library. First four stories are creepy, but don't cause much alarm. The fifth ... Oh, goodness.

Suddenly, not only was I expecting mice and bugs to go racing across the floor, I was worried about the Zodiac Killer sneaking up behind me. I was worried about it being so dark in the apartment, and so cold. Clearly it was so chilly because I was being visited by the Angel of Death, right? Right. It was so bad that I had to shut off the DVD. Shortly thereafter, Dave came home, and I made him sit and watch it with me. But it was too late. I was already freaked out.

"Get out 'Mr. Blandings,'" I said. "I can't even stand this." They hadn't caught the guy! The guy shot young people as they were making out, or having picnics or other scandalous affairs that everyone's done. He had a flashlight taped to his gun! He wrote letters the the newspaper! He said he made deaths look like accidents so no one would question it! OH MY GOD.

I tried to make myself feel better, like "the guy's gotta be dead now. That was 1967." But no. he's no older than my grandpa. Obviously, he's in Oshkosh. In my apartment. Ready to jump at any time.

That's it. I'm taking the DVDs back to the library.