My name is Robert and I can't stop thinking about ninjas.

I can't claim to have found this (Gannett News Service did), but it's my duty as an upstanding citizen to deliver the goods to you.

Real Ultimate Power. (Click "yes", don't be a little baby -- or click "no" for a good laugh.)

Can't make it to the site? Check out these gems:
1. "I heard that there was this ninja who was eating at a diner. And when some dude dropped a spoon the ninja killed the whole town."

2. "Ninjas are sooooooooooo sweet that I want to crap my pants. I can't believe it sometimes, but I feel it inside my heart. These guys are totally awesome and that's a fact. Ninjas are fast, smooth, cool, strong, powerful, and sweet. I can't wait to start yoga next year. I love ninjas with all of my body."

3. "Q: I heard that ninjas are always cruel or mean. What's their problem? A: Whoever told you that is a total liar. Just like other mammals, ninjas can be mean OR totally awesome."

I love the word "ninja." He, he.