Hey, I took out the trash, did laundry and dishes and cleaned the bathrooms. I don't want to hear it, OK? Gosh.

Since Dave got a new job title, he comes home later; around midnight, not too often is he any earlier. I'm asleep by 11. It's how I roll. Or don't roll, actually, as I'm usually out for good by then, and don't remember hearing Dave come home and sometimes I wake up to reach for my cup of water on the nightstand, and have to look over at him sleeping in the blue-clock light to make sure he didn't get kidnapped or carjacked or killed or worse on the way home from work.

So tonight when he got home and I was still awake, I thought mayyybe he'd feel like bonding. And by bonding, I mean making food.

"I'm hungry."

"What do you want?" asked the good husband.

"A cheese omelet."

"What? It's midnight." Like, duh, Erin. Duh.

"I know that."

And that's why I'm in bed, and he's downstairs making me food.

God, I love being married. Or, rather, a newlywed.