Planning in ink for us, pencil for them.
Well, it's that time. Time to take down the Christmas tree (until November, mes amis). Time to color the hair (got it). Time to finish laundry. Yup.
Time to ask people to be in our wedding.
It's T minus 10 months-ish, rounding to the nearest month, until the big day. We put off asking people long enough. We asked a few people over Christmas; the ones who are family, the ones who we know we'll still be friends with because we share genetics. I asked my maid of honor. He asked his best man. We still have friends to ask. We kinda put that part off. Again.
Why? Because moving to Wisconsin less than a year before our wedding was the dumbest thing to do, in terms of planning a wedding. (Oh, sure, it has its benefits -- health insurance, a pay check, snow and all that.) As far as picking friends goes, we just don't know.
Once upon a time, my college roommate from freshman year got married. But first, she moved home, about an hour away. She had twins. She quit school, she got a job, and a house. By the time the wedding came around, I didn't even know her. Was it my fault? Kind of. I could have called more. But I'm not a fan of awkward silences. I don't want anyone to have to do that for my wedding. The awkward calls, that is.
It's just hard. We don't know who we're going to be friends with next year. How can we pick who should be in our wedding? It seems petty in a way, because we were able to pick a lifetime (g'day) mate, but we can't pick a few innocent bridesmaids and groomsmen. But in another way, it's a huge deal. I want people who are good friends of mine. Who I can tell "stuff" to. Who know "stuff" without me having to tell them. I want them to know what I'm doing now. In Wisconsin. In life. And I want to know about their lives.
The only things I'm confident about are my fiance, my current lineup: Roommie -- not the married one, two sisters in law, a half-sister, a cousin. His? A brother, three brothers in law, a friend); and my dress.
The rest ... well, I'm fickle. I'm planning this thing in pencil.
2 comments:
Erin--
Found your blog via "Word Nerd" Bethany.
In my (slight) experience, the person that you pick will be your friend until about 3 months before the wedding. Pretenses will be kept for about 3 months after and slowly fall apart thereafter.
It's happened to 3 of the 4 people I was in college with, myself included.
Good luck. It's never an easy decision.
Well, welcome to adult life. Life as you know it will never be the same as it was in college. Pick your wedding party carefully because your friend list will look very different in a few years. I know plenty of people who rarely communicate with people that were in their wedding 5-10 years later. I look back on my own and wonder why we fretted so much about inviting some who are no longer in our lives(through no fault of anybodies, just life).
I believe if you go through life with one good friend remaining from High School, and one from college, you are way ahead of the curve.
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