Girls. Can't live with 'em, even if you are one. Like I am.

Girls are funny. Not ha-ha funny. I'm talking moody, cranky and otherwise unpleasant to be around. Sometimes.

I find boys a lot easier to talk to, a lot easier to be around, and generally a lot more fun. But, yes, I miss having a close girlfriend within local calling distance. Guys think girls are these tough, hard-to-decipher characters who only understand their own kind. That's not true. I don't think we understand each other that well, most of the time.

My college roommate; now she and I could read each other's moods. I got her. I understood what made her angry, and what topics were off-limits, and what we could whine and complain about together. Mom; I get her. But other girls, the ones I've met here, most of the girls I met when I was in school, friends of friends, girlfriends of friends, and even my soon-to-be relatives -- I don't get them. Not like I get Roommie. Or Mom.

I'm fairly confident I'm not the only female who can't read others' feelings. But it bothers me nonetheless. I still don't know what to say when someone gets dumped. I don't know what to do when someone other than Roommie asks me if something they're wearing looks bad. I don't know what I can joke about. It takes me a while to get comfortable enough to talk about myself; how am I supposed to know all this stuff about girls I just met? Or girls I see just at holiday parties and family get-togethers?

How can these girls know what to say to me, I wonder. Was this something my mom should have taught me, but didn't have time to do between raising three kids, a dog and a guinea pig, and working? Could it be that I just won't have another friend like Roommie? I don't think so. That's too depressing, and I'm not that dark and cynical.

I'd like to get closer to other girls. I need the fashion advice. The boy talk. The shopping. But -- and this is my deep, dark secret -- I get sweaty palmed and nervous when I have to think about dealing with girl-isms. Gossiping. Talking behind backs. Whispering. I can gossip and whisper like the best of them, too. But sometimes, it gets to be a bit much.

Can't we just talk about boys and clothes and superficial things, and laugh and have a good time and then go home? Gosh.