Long drive home

I'm getting a little nervous about the whole driving home thing. I'd fly, but that's too easy. I'd take a train, but I don't think people really do that in real life. And buses are scary.

I have that new car, so it shouldn't be as big of a problem making the trip home as it was getting dear old Geo to Wisconsin (with all 201,000 miles on it). Rest Geo's soul.

No, I'm nervous about spending the time in the car with the fiance.

We're a great couple. We don't really fight, we like to hang out, we laugh, he cooks, we're happy, all that stuff that's making you want to throw up (or cry) right now. But I draw the line at five hours in the car with him. We'll be spending eight hours in the car from here to Ohio Friday night; three-and-a-half from there to Cincinnati Sunday morning; 40 minutes from western Cincinnati to northeastern Cincinnati; then ... 11 hours back to Wisconsin from there on Monday.

Noooooooooo ...

Everything that I find cute about him will suddenly become annoying. I may leave him at a rest stop somewhere between Cincinnati and Oshkosh. I'm not making any promises that he'll come back in one piece, or at all.

OK, so it's not that bad. But he'll hum or sing along to whatever it is we're listening to, and my blood pressure will rise, and I do the tight-grip-on-the-wheel thing. He'll want to listen to his music (in my car, can you believe the nerve of this guy?), which isn't good, trust me (Sidebar: When someone tells you they'll listen to "just about any kind of music," what they really mean is they have no taste in music. If you don't take anything else away from this blog, please ... remember that.).

Or, there'll be a football game on the radio: "Come on, Erin, we just HAVE to listen to it." The only thing worse than watching football on TV is hearing it on the radio. (There's no picture; how do you even know what's going on? Seriously -- and that AM static; I can't even take it.)

Or, he'll snore. Or leave his trash on the floor of the car. I think you get the picture.

I can be a bit much, too, I admit. I have my five or six CDs I'm really into right now, and that's all I want to hear. I am not hungry until we drive by the off-ramp, or until we've been on the road no longer than 30 minutes. I like to remind him of my hunger status every few miles: "Still hungry." I can see how that would be annoying. I know I'm no joy after a while in the car. But I'm a girl. I don't burp or do gross things boys do when they're bored in the car. Dang.

Four hour and 59-minute trip = good. Hitting that five-hour mark = bad. Very bad. In reality, yes, he's coming back to Wisconsin with me. We'll be happy again. Just ... not until like, Wednesday. Baby steps, man. Baby steps.