Telling my mom

"Mom, we have a bunch of gifts for you," we said on our vacation last month.

"Ooh!"

"Here, your jelly container back."

"All right."

"And here -- magazines."

"Sweet."

"Aaaaand, Dave got you this for early Christmas -- a 7-foot crossword puzzle."

"Oh, man."

"Aaaaaand, Dave framed this photo of you and Bernie. Isn't it cool?"

"Oh, baby!"

"Oh, speaking of babies -- I'm pregnant."

Silence.

"AH! YES!"

Written Oct. 20