I can't think about anything else

Right after I got engaged, I thought family, friends and random strangers would come up to me just to punch me in the mouth to get me to STOP talking about my STUPID wedding already, God! No one CARES.

But you guys. This is a BABY. As I write this, I'm 7 1/2-weeks pregnant, and my baby looks like a little half-inch alien. He/she has a heartbeat. A brain. A liver. This is serious stuff. And I'm responsible for this. When I post this, he/she will be three months not-born-yet-but-old.

He/she's not even here and already I'm having a complex about my ability to help this child not-die, and maybe even succeed. It's scary.

So it's no wonder that I've got that one thing on my mind right now, and only that. And I don't think anyone would blame me for only talking about my little cashew.

Plus, it's like the "don't think about puppies" thing. I say "don't blog about the baby" and all I can blog about is my baby. I'm laying out pages at work and thinking about he/she. I'm reading copy and going over names I might like in the story. I'm reading pregnancy books where I used to read Joyce Carol Oates or Jodi Picoult. I'm giggling. Over nothing. Everytime someone says excitedly "You're going to have a baby!" I just giggle and say "I KNOW!"

What's happening to me?

Written Nov. 1