Also, the first time you blame a mood swing on being pregnant, you get a punch in the face

"Let's lay some ground rules."

"Ohhh-K."

"First, there is no fruit in my womb. I hate that."

"OK."

"Second, WE are not pregnant."

"What?"

"I am pregnant. WE are not."

"Oh."

"We are having a baby. We are starting a family. We have one on the way. But WE are not pregnant."

Written Oct. 17