I am ashamed ... so I'm going to write a blog about it, so more people know

I wrote a column about it.

I thought if I had the public humiliation of not keeping my new years resolution, I'd be more motivated to follow through.

But, alas. It's happened, just as I predicted.

I am unmotivated. I joined the Y. I went to yoga. I even liked it. Yes, liked it. Genuinely. It wasn't scary, it wasn't too hard, there was good music, it wasn't too hot or too cold, there weren't any shady people there. It was nice.

But I just couldn't get out of the office fast enough to go again tonight. I could have left and came back, as I did last night. I could have just left, and done the work I had to do for tomorrow morning. But instead, I watched the clock, one part of me saying "Oh, you so have time to go," and the other going "Wow, I wonder what I did with that one paper" (when I knew where the one paper was), thus taking up precious time, 'til -- oops, too late. So I thought, well, I'm going to go home and ... uh, blog about not going to the Y.

I am ashamed. If you could see me right now, you would notice my cheeks are blushing. A - shamed.

How do normal people do this? How does one get up off the couch/office chair/whatever and go? I have the desire to feel better/look better (although not that much of a desire, apparently). I have the means. I've been there before, I know I like the class. There are even Christmas lights there (for ambiance, yoga's taught in quasi-darkness) -- what's more to love?

What's my deal?

Dang. I had expected to run out of motivation. I didn't think it would have come so quickly. But I have no excuses on Saturday morning. What else am I going to do, anyhow? Sleep. Oh, right.

But just in case that public humiliation thing kicks in ... I'm making a public statement. I'm going. Saturday. Wish me luck.