I'm stressed and ANGRY

I'm tired. I'm so tired. Years from now, when I am wiping snot from a toddler's nose and worrying about diapers and midnight feedings, I'll look back on this and say "You had no idea," but just for right now, humor me.

I've been painting, cleaning, moving bits and pieces, stressing out, spacing out (a result of stressing out), and other things that go along with being a homeowner. I've not even been a homeowner for five days (let alone lived there yet), and already, I understand. You guys, I understand.

I know what it's like to wonder if I left that window open (or did someone break in and is HIDING IN THAT CLOSET WITH A CROWBAR), if I left that light on (or was it CROWBAR MAN), if I double-checked the doors juuust to make sure they were locked when I left (so CROWBAR MAN could be kept safely inside), if, if, if.

And no, there wasn't anyone in my closet. And no, I wasn't really scared. (Petrified.) No, not really.

I'm stressed, but excited, too. I got the list from our landlord about what we have to do before we move out, and how much we'll be charged or taken to small claims court for if we fail to do them, and besides the initial feeling of outright ANGER (in all capital letters), I felt relieved.

NEVER AGAIN will someone tell me that I have to "wash and dry all cupboard doors, then shine with furniture polish" or "remove air conditioning vents and rinse in a cold water and vinegar solution" or even "make a move-out inspection appointment one week before you plan to vacate, after you've removed all items from your apartment" even though HELLO, LANDLORD. If I don't PLAN to VACATE for another WEEK, where would I put my stuff???!!!

OH THE ANGER.

Never again. Sigh. It's all over now. Sept. 30, I am throwing my keys at my landlord and screaming "You can't tell me what to do anymore!" And then CROWBAR MAN and I will share a collective sigh of relief.