Pregnant lady at a liquor store

I like getting little "pretend" presents for people to go with their "real" presents. Most call them "gag" gifts, but since I'm talking about buying cheese curds as jokes, I don't like to use the word "gag." Mainly because yeah, when you explain to someone what a cheese curd is, and why they're called curds, they really do gag ... and that's not my intention. I just wanted a little laugh.

Anyhow.

Besides those cheese curds I'm going to be throwing on top of real presents, I'm officially DONE-ish with Christmas shopping. I add "ish" because in a bit I'll be wandering around the wine section of the grocery store for a gift -- a GIFT -- as I hold in my belly behind my winter coat so I'm not the one people are whispering about behind the reds, what with their "can you believes" and "lush"es on their lips.

See, I may as well light up a cigarette mid-belly scratch and drink right outta the paper bag.

I plan on kindly escaping past them with an apologetic "but I just love wine .. they're made from grapes, right? Fruit? It's gotta be safe for the baby. It's just gotta be. Right?" Hack, hack, smoker's cough.

Yeah. After that fun experience, I'll be done with Christmas shopping for the year. Then comes the fun part ... getting the presents. Whooooo!