One-click shopping! Sign me up

I blogged yesterday about how I took my e-shopping cart all the way to the checkout line, just because I obviously NEED books that cost $0.01, even though my gift card didn't cover used book purchases.

I even felt ashamed of my purchases. When Dave came home from work, I confessed (not that he hadn't seen it on my blog anyhow) and tried justifying it ("But it's only a penny!"). He was relieved. He bought CDs yesterday. Well. Home free, then.

But I can't stop. Guys, seriously. Help. I logged back on tonight after work. See, I went to Waldenbooks with the gift card I had, and I browsed the shelves. I picked up books, carried them around, then stuck them back in their places when I thought "I bet I can get that book cheaper on Amazon.com. I just bet. And I bet shipping'd even be cheaper than paying this price." It was the most agonizing moment. I had the gift card. In. My. Hand.

The guy watching the security cameras was probably sitting there going, "Look, Hank, watch. Check this lady out. She keeps picking up 'The Falls,' then she puts it back. Watch -- SEE! I told you. Now watch, she'll go read the back of that other book again and put it ba- SEE!"

But online, I can get "Middle Age" by Joyce Carol Oates for $1.95. I can get "The Falls" for $0.80. I can get ... you get the point. And unlike the library (free books! weeee), I get to keep them, alphabetize them, lend them, barter them and let them make me look intelligent.

This e-shopping trip is completely permissible by my own rules. I have Christmas money and, gosh, there's that birthday coming up, and I haven't spent money on myself in a while. OK, really, I just made that up.

I need an intervention. Someone, disconnect my Internet.