My, what an empty calendar you have

I am almost overwhelmed by my vacation days this year. Not the number of them. Just this plotting part. I mean, that's a whole year I have to think about, with a certain number of days to spare.

I don't have a wedding to save the days for. I don't have to worry about wedding showers, moving, or trips home to plan that wedding.

I don't have anywhere in particular to go. I just have that certain number of vacation days that I have. To. Use. Have to.

But for what? We don't "vacation." That's not the type of people we are right now. Those people have "some money," or "no problem using credit cards," or "like the sun." We tend to move in poorer, darker, colder circles. Circles around Wisconsin and Ohio, with straight, very quick lines to and from.

I don't have big events to coordinate days off. Sure, there are the holidays. I'll want to save a day or two for December. Blah, blah. But ... There's just nothing else, I think as I bounce my pencil on my empty calendar. My big, empty calendar. Dave is little to no help.

"Dave, where do you want to go?"

"I don't know. Tennessee? We can see my brother."

"OK. When?"

"I don't know."

"OK. Spring?"

"I don't know. Sure."

"Should you see if he's going to still be in Tennessee on (some random weekend)?"

"Yeah, I guess I can."

Silence. "Um, are you going to call him?"

"Oh, yeah. I will."

So I then threw my calendar on the floor, took the cap off my pen and started dropping it at the open year-ahead calendar. Let fate decide; we can't. But the pen kept hitting the floor or an area of no significance on the paper. See? Even fate says "I don't know." Sigh.

How do people do this in real life? I'm pretty sure our answers are all of the "I don't know" variety, and I'm guessing "I don't know"s turn in to "Let's take off a day in April and clean out gutters and shampoo carpets -- we can even do the stairs!" or "How about we make that weekend in September a long weekend and paint the garage and clean the basement! Think of all the time we could spend together!"

I just don't know if I'm ready for that kind of defeat yet.