Dave will never be Zach Braff, and apparently he knows that.

True story, paraphrased, of our Friday night spent watching "The Last Kiss," where a 30-year-old Zach Braff freaks out about his pregnant girlfriend and is tempted to run off with Rachel Bilson's character, a college sophomore with distracting hand gestures:

"What would you do?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean. Rachel Bilson -- hotter -- or this other woman -- who you've been with three years? What would you do?"

Staring at me, silently.

"No, I mean if I were dead."

Staring at me, silently.

"No, I mean if I never existed and you were Zach Braff and this was your life."

Staring at me, silently.

This isn't a trap. Say what you want. There aren't any wrong answers. Unless you say "Go with Rachel Bilson's character." Because that would just be wrong.