The wedding, the honeymoon and more

The justification: A wedding happens once in a lifetime, and This is Life is about my life. Hence, you get the biggest day of my life, in photos.

6:45 a.m.: Erin gets her hair done by her soon-to-be sister-in-law.
**What you don't see: Erin eats three giant maple rolls, tries to hide the fact that in two hours she plans on eating half a box of macaroni and cheese. Later, succeeds.


8 a.m.: Step-father isn't impressed. Continues to read paper.
**What you don't see: Four women in a tiny bathroom doing hair. No wonder he's not outta the chair.

10:45 a.m.: Erin gets dressed in the church basement, poses for first of 673 photos with maid of honor.
**What you don't see: Erin freaking out when she hears Dave's voice upstairs: "Is that Dave?? Dave? How is he? What's he doing?" You also don't see Dave's brother telling me Dave's throwing up. Which he wasn't.


12:45 p.m.: Part of bridal party waits for the 1 p.m. show.

**What you don't see: The ceremony, as I was kind of busy getting married to take photos. Sorry.

3 p.m.: Post-ceremony, post-pro photos, Dave and Erin ride to barhop, which is an Ohio thing ... You don't get drunk; you just go to a few bars and be loud and married and play "Sweet Home Alabama" on the jukebox.
**What you don't see: Me, taking 15 minutes to figure out how to fit a round dress in a square car seat.

3:17 p.m.: Erin and Dave sing to "Sweet Home Alabama" on the jukebox.
**What you don't hear: Our horrible singing.

5:56 p.m.: Erin and Dave cut the cake. Crowd goes wild for chocolate.
**What you don't see: Us throwing cake on each other. I told him I'd divorce him if he got chocolate on my dress. He listens well.

7:59 p.m.: Even in tux, Dave can't really dance. But it's forgiveable.
**What you don't see: Me, also with no dancing skills.

9:02 p.m.: About as crazy as it gets: Moms and groomsman dance to Meatloaf.
**What you don't see: My grandparents dancing to Justin Timberlake. It happened. I swear. It was awesome.

Sunday, 2:55 p.m.: Dave and Erin wait for the plane in Detroit.
**What you don't see: Erin freaking out, convinced she will die in a horrible plane crash.

Monday, 4 p.m.: Dave takes photos in Quebec City.
**What you don't see: Me, going "Are you done yet?"

4:15 p.m.: Quebec rocks.
**As you can see.

4:16 p.m.: Arret in the name of love, baby.
**Yeah, we took the touristy photo. "Look, ya'll, it's FRENCH."

5 p.m.: See, I was there, too.
**What I don't see: Much of anything, as I left my glasses in Ohio. Oops. You also don't see the rest of the honeymoon, as a woman's gotta keep some things to herself. That, and it rained, cutting down the photo opps.

Saturday, 10 p.m.: The wedding gift that keeps on barkin': Mr. Big.
**What you don't see: How cute he is all curled up on his pillow.

There. I shall from this day forth no longer speak of my wedding day at such length. But I'm only doing this wedding thing once, so I'm getting my money's worth of talking about it.

So there. On with This is Life. Married life.