So this is what "scatter-brained" feels like.

I thought I had everything under control for this whole wedding thing.

I thought I was done with the headaches and hassles of planning a wedding; then Dave reminds me that, hey, we don't have PROGRAMS. And Dave says we simply must have PROGRAMS. Because otherwise, who will know who's singing the opening songs if we don't have PROGRAMS. Who will know what the relationship between "Bridesmaid 4" and the bride are?

Um.

I never really thought about that part. I kind of just assumed people asked. Or figured. Or made up their own little stories in their minds to keep from falling asleep: "Oooh, Mary (not a real bridesmaid's name) and the bride were best friends in college, 'til that one night when Mary got friendly with Jake (not the real groom), whom the bride had her eye on since like, junior high. Since the Mary-Jake thing didn't work out, it's awkward for Jake and Mary to have to stand up there - see how they're not making eye contact? And the bride is totally loving it because she's passive-aggressive."

Or something.

But, no. Mr. Etiquette, who you know as "Dave," says programs are a must.

So I guess tonight, I have one final headache. And one would think it'd be easy to just throw this all together.

It's not -- I've had all the songs and particulars in the "nice to know, glad it's planned, now forget it" folder in my brain, and now it's MIA. A lot of things happen to be MIA this week, all of which were stored in that folder.

Hm. Yet another reason I will never, ever divorce Dave. No, not because he knows etiquette. Rather, by divorcing him, I open myself up to the possibility of getting married again. Planning another wedding is something I don't think I can stomach twice in my life.

Once, I have this feeling, will be enough. Lucky Dave.