GO BUCKEYES/GO BIG BLUE

This weekend is monumental.

Not only are my inlaws coming up, but do you REALIZE what's going to be on TV?

Ohio State vs. Michigan. In football.






OK. I tried. Look, I really tried to get into the game. I did. I've lived in Ohio, UM's big rival state, for years. I lived in Michigan (and hated every second of it, just about) and tried to keep an open mind.

I learned all the "Hail to the ____" songs that don't use the traditional UM fight song words. I've been to a party almost every year to watch this game. I've participated in cheering one side or the other.

But I don't care.

I'm the woman who has relatives with a scarlet and gray garage, adorned in buckeyes; the one who knows a guy who would be hard-pressed to find an article of clothing that didn't have some sort of OSU mention on it; the woman whose family sings "Hang On Sloopy" while motioning "O-H-I-O," YMCA-style; and the woman whose family makes buckeyes not because they're delicious but because they're BUCKEYES. I'm the one who has the family for whom "Go Bucks" has nothing to do with Milwaukee.

We're talking a serious, serious OSU infatuation for my family.

And I married a Michigan fan.

While my family all releases a collective "UGHH GROSS," I must explain: I had an OSU sweatshirt once. Not because I was a huge fan, but because that's the standard Christmas gift one gets in Ohio. And I had a UM sweatshirt once, not because I like the Wolverines, but because it was $5, and hello, it even had a hood. And OK, it made my family gag, and that was funny at one point in my life.

I find it really, really hard to pick a side, because I just don't care. I don't. And I don't care if that makes me a bad person. So be it.

This weekend, when my husband's happiness lies in a few touchdowns (or lack thereof), and when the phone starts ringing for the inevitable "HAAA TAKE THAT"s when one side scores, I shall be sitting back, cleaning the toilet or something.

Or, if I'm lucky, someone will offer to take Dave to the bar, and I can tag along for chicken wings. Because if you can't beat them (or even stand the game), you may as well eat something while you're ignoring them.

That is, if Wisconsin bars play that game anywhere. Dang, wouldn't that be a shame.

(Photo: Friends of mine, who wore buckeye necklaces to my wedding. True story. Ohio State fans are crazy. And I can say that, because I was one of them. Kind of.)