A wedding dress and a bombshell with wheels
OK, so maybe my complaining was a little premature.
I got a wedding dress Saturday. Amid my screams: "I don't have any money, and I'm not in the mood to wedding-dress shop!" -- I was able to find the most gorgeous dress ever created. And that is a scientific fact.
It's white (not ivory), it sits off the shoulders a bit. It's not scandalous in the chestal region. It's beaded on the top, but not "Chicago!" beaded. It's got a long, long train. It was on the sale rack. Oooh yeah. It was magical. Wait. But there is one myth: "You'll know it's your dress as soon as you try it on." That's not true. I tried on like, eight or nine dresses, and only two of those would make me hide instead of walking down any aisle. But I narrowed it down to two. Then one. Then I knew. So it's a partially true myth. Or partially false. Whatev.
It was the third dress I tried on, in the first (and only) store. But it is so me. And it's comfortable. I mean, as comfortable as a dress with a corset-like bra and one of those puffy slip things with itchy netting can be. Anyhow, it made me happy. Mom loves it, too. She didn't even cry. Not in the store, anyhow.
And then ... (drum roll, please) ... I ended an era.
"She must have colored her hair." (Yes, it's dark brown now. But that's not it. Guess again.)
"She must have broken up with The Fiance." (Uh, no.)
"She must have gotten rid of one of her Christmas trees." (Riiight.)
No, ladies and gentlemen, I GOT A NEW CAR.
I can hear the collective gasp.
Actually, The Fiance, The Stepdad and The Brother found it when I was out finding my wedding dress (expensive day to be me, yessss). They even got me a deal where I don't have to pay anything until March. And it's an awesome car. A maroon 2001 Alero, with cupholders, a CD player and a five-speed vent system. Can you sing "Movin' on Up?" Hopefully Michigan will be nothing but a bad dream to me come March.
What am I going to do with Geo, you ask? I'm gonna set it on fire. Oh, wait. Illegal. Uh, I'm going to push it in the lake. Illegal, dang. I'm going to donate it as a tax write-off. Yes. I am. Not that I understand what a tax write-off really is. But it sounds good. And I got a new car. And a dress. And I don't have to pay anything on either until later. So I am still poor. But dang, do I look good.
In my new car.
And dress.
3 comments:
I'm glad you got a new car. I remember when Dave drove your nasty car to work once, we all made fun of him. But on second thought, who does make fun of him?
I meant to say "doesn't". So, here is my corrected comment....
I'm glad you got a new car. I remember when Dave drove your nasty car to work once, we all made fun of him. But on second thought, who doesn't make fun of him?
I love how one person's "nasty car" is someone else's "reliable lil' sucker." I'm glad you decided on the "sell the car ridiculously cheap" route rather than pushing it in the lake. Especially since the lake was probably freezing up when you sold it.
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